Class #1
Time: 4:30pm/Instructor: Regina
I was excited that Regina was teaching this afternoon because she taught the first Bikram class I ever took and she has a stern, but enthusiastic style that resonates well with me. Since I was bored (and really because I can find any excuse to shop) I stopped at K-Mart (don't judge, it's literally a block from my house) to get some cute new clothes for yoga. Because - let's be honest - if I'm going to go through with this crazy idea, I deserve some cute clothes to do it in. Sophia Vergara has a line of athletic wear at K-Mart that I actually really like and I discovered my new favorite brand of sports bra, but I digress...
I was ready to label this class the class of distractions. On the way from K-Mart to the yoga studio I got an email from my wedding photographer that our photos were done and I seriously almost turned around and drove immediately home to look at them. I tried to justify it by saying I would come back for the 6:30 class, but deep down I knew that if I went home I wouldn't go back and this whole challenge would be over before it started. So I settled for looking at my photos on my tiny phone screen whilst I sat in the parking lot waiting for the studio to open. (Side note: I'm a creature of habit. I like "my" spot in the studio and I do not like when I am not in "my" spot. My Bikram studio opens 30 minutes before class starts and me, being a little bit anxious, gets there 15-20 minutes before that to ensure I am the first one in the studio and I can claim my space. Yes, I am aware yoga is supposed to help with anxious feelings like this. I'm working on it, okay?)
Unfortunately, once I got in the studio the distractions wouldn't stop. More specifically, my inner blabber would not STFU. Seriously, from the time I entered the studio this is the stream of consciousness that went on in my head:
My mat feels cold, it's probably because I left it in the car last night. Is it okay to leave my yoga mat in the car over night? The cold kind of feels good. It doesn't feel that hot in here today. Duh, that's probably because your mat is cold. Crap! I forgot to shave my legs. I'm blonde maybe no one will notice. Actually it would be weird if someone did notice. If you have the time to notice someone else's leg hair clearly you shouldn't be taking this class because you're a master, you're done. That reminded me of a Jim Gaffigan meme...hooootttt pooooccckkkeeeetsss... WTF? Where did that come from. Shut UP, Jules! Concentrate. Okay relax. Relax, relax...WHAT IS THAT. That is a woman who must be seven months pregnant. She cannot seriously be taking this class. I give up on life if that is true. But she's putting her mat down. My mat's not cold anymore. Of course it's not you idiot it's 105 degrees in here. I know, but the heat doesn't feel that bad today. WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED YET. Wait, pregnant lady is speaking -- she's... no. No that cannot be possible. She's due in TWO WEEKS?! OMG, Jules, stop staring at the pregnant lady. Ok focus, focus, I'm never going to focus because I cannot shut up. Oh not shutting up, that would be a good blog post. Wait, are you seriously writing your blog while in class...?
Yeah. This nonsense continued all the way through Pranayama breathing. For the record - this is why yoga and I haven't gotten along in the past. I've never been able to shut up my inner blabber in any hatha or vinyasa class I've taken before. It's never been an issue in Bikram before - you know because I mostly am focused on breathing and not dying - but still. Seriously. Tonight. First night of my challenge. Of course. And then as we moved in half moon pose, my instructor looked right at me and said "get out of your head." OMG HOW DID SHE KNOW?! Anyway, somehow I got snapped back into reality and was able to drown out myself and focus on not falling on my face.
And then before I knew it we were moving into tadasana (tree pose). Wait, what? No. That's not possible. I have never made it through the standing series before without having to take a break. The last thing I remember doing is eagle. Did I miss something? Did I momentarily float out of my body? For the longest time, tulandandasana (balancing stick) has been my Achilles heel. Before this class, as soon as I would move into that pose, my heart rate would sky rocket and my syncope symptoms would trigger (blacked out vision/hearing under water). I would have to immediately lay down. However, today, for whatever reason I made it through. All the way through the standing series. (For the record I actually asked my instructor after class if I really did this. Just to double check that I really didn't black out or something - I think she thinks I need to relax.) While this may not seem like huge deal, it was a major breakthrough in my practice. As I layed down into savasana I was in such a state of bliss I couldn't stop smiling. Like an idiot. Thank goodness you couldn't see me in the mirror.
I rode this high through several more postures. Still didn't need a break. At this point I actually realized I may make it through the entire class without a break. I've never made it through standing series without a break, let alone a whole class. And then as we finished up adha-kurmasana/ half-tortise pose (I'm not trying to be pretentious, I swear. I'm just still trying to learn the "real" names myself) I knew what was coming. If balancing stick was my Achilles heel, ustrasana (camel pose) is my flat out nemesis. I hate it. With the burning passion of a thousand suns. It makes me feel like puking. Every. Single. Time. This was it. I was going to lose it during this pose and lay down. Except I didn't. I did fall out of it... twice. But I got back in twice. And it was at the moment I knew I was going to make it the rest of the way. And I did. And it felt perfect.
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