SCOTUS, B12, and Me

When I had originally started this blog, my intentions were to track my progress through a 30 day Bikram yoga challenge. However, I quickly figured out that blogging about it just added stress and distraction and I didn't need that -  I finished all thirty days by the way! So now, months later, I have decided to pick up this blog again and talk about all things health and wellness related... which leads me to today's topic.

In case you have been living under a rock, you know by now the SCOTUS has ruled on the religious exemptions for Hobby Lobby (and the other company that escapes my name at the moment) regarding contraceptives. The point of this post is not to argue this ruling - in fact I'm probably the worst (read: boring) person to argue this with as I do not use hormonal birth control and if I did, I am blessed enough to be able to afford to pay for it. Thus, the whole thing is a really a moot point for me, personally. Sure, there are greater social implications to be argued, and I'm sure there are people much more interesting and qualified to debate with about this topic. The ruling did, however, make me start to think about my own life - and specifically my own medications - and how these federal, governmental based decisions actually affect me. 

When Obamacare first went into effect, it truly had no impact on my personally whatsoever. I already held qualifying health insurance through my employer and when I left that position was easily able to obtain private insurance. However, about 6 months ago I got a shock when checking out at CVS. In the new year, with the new regulations, my prescription was no longer covered by my insurance.  Let me introduce you to cobalamin, aka chemical B12:

I was diagnosed with pernicious anemia over four years ago after several episodes of unexplained syncope. I get the pleasure of injecting myself with cobalamin weekly - and I have the bruises to prove it. Without this drug, I will not survive. And yet, it miraculously stopped being covered by my insurance under the new federal regulations. And while yes, many people who did not previously have access to health care previously now do, I wonder how many people are in my same position. How many people now have access to health care coverage, but that health care coverage doesn't actually cover the things people need?

This is why I have such a hard time when people make such a big deal about contraception being covered. Remember, we aren't talking about making contraception legal, people still have access to it, we're talking about funding it. It is a hot topic with lots of religious and political routes - and let's be honest - people love to talk about both on social media. All the time.

And believe me, I understand people's desire, and occasional need for, contraception. But people are vehemently screaming about two companies not being required to fully fund the cost of two specific types of contraception. Why is no one screaming about this? Why are we "entitled" to free birth control, but not entitled to live saving, necessary drugs? Where's the awareness? It's my government, too.

There is no doubt that health care and insurance in this country needs to be addressed and reformed - but every day that goes on I can't help believe that ACA was the absolute wrong way to go about doing it. And it is officially time to get politics out of health care.

Bikram 30-day Challenge - Days 4&5: Roller Coaster

So after my breakthrough class on Thursday night, and then the down swing that was days 2&3, this crazy roller coaster I'm on is definitely back on the upward climb!

Day 4: Sun 3/16

Time: 3:30pm/Instructor: Molly

It was about this class that I was really regretting not counting the day I decided to embark on this challenge as day one of the challenge - I could have been on day five already! And for some reason in that moment, five sounded so much better than four!

Anyway, I've taken this specific class several times and it's always a party. The room is always packed from end to end and the energy is always really high. Today was no different - people actually randomly got giggly during class. Giggles. During Bikram. WTF?! But sometimes that high energy is just what you need to carry through a long, hot afternoon. Molly says she's never giving up this class because it's always a party.

I made some significant progress on a few poses during this class - namely standing bow pulling pose and fixed firm. Standing bow pulling pose is my absolute favorite pose and I'm not terrible at it. Lasting muscle memory from years of dance make kicking up over my head not difficult, however, balance is not my strong suit. Anyone who has ever met me can confirm this; I'm a clumsy mess. So as good as I am at kicking, I am not so good at balancing. But today I didn't fall out of it once today. Not once. Also, I got completely flat on my back during fixed firm. I didn't actually intend to do that, I wasn't even thinking about it at all. Then the next thing I knew I was in it. It reminded me a lot of the first time I fell into a split in dance class - I had to be 9 or 10 and it just happened. I wasn't planning on it happening, but it just did. And once again, I made it through the entire class without a break. I certainly wanted a break, but I didn't need one, so I didn't let my mental game throw me.

Day 5: Monday 3/17

Time: 9:30am/Instructor: Jane

Okay. Lesson learned. Never, ever rely on my husband to be my alarm clock again. He was supposed to wake me up at 7am, so I would have time to eat something before the 9:30am class (I try not to eat within 2 hours of class because the feeling of food sloshing around is not pleasant). However, when I woke up on my own and rolled over to look at the clock I discovered that it was 7:58am and the hubby was still snoring away next to me. I knew I had to get water into my body ASAP, but I didn't know what to do about the food issue. I knew if I didn't eat anything I would risk passing out and I knew if I did eat something that close to class I would for sure puke. So I quickly decided to try some bone broth - I almost always have a stash in the freezer. So I scooped some out into a mug, popped it in the microwave and drank a big mug of it - hoping it would give me the salt/protein/calories I needed to get through class and would digest quickly since it was a liquid. Magically, it worked.

So class was very different today. I've taken class alongside Jane many times (remember the crazy person I talked about doing a double session on Saturday? Yeah, that was Jane), but I've never taken class with Jane as the instructor. Similar to Kaitlin, Jane was focused 100% on proper mechanics, but her tone - and the overall class tone - had a slower more motherly and calm approach. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy by any means - but the calmness helped my stamina and helped me focus more on mechanics. I noticed during this class that the turnout in my hips (that was so coveted as a dancer) really works against me in this class. My hip is constantly wanting to fall open making postures like standing head to knee and basically any of the head to knee poses difficult- which is frustrating. Beyond frustrating, but I'm working on it! 

Bikram 30 Day Challenge - Days 2&3: What have I gotten myself into?

Day 2: Friday 03/14

Time: 6:30pm/Instructor: Molly

I knew from the moment I woke up on Friday that it was just going to be an overall bad day. I was exhausted and could barely keep my eyes open. I had a million errands to run and I just didn't want to do anything. Class that night was no better  even though it is only technically day 2 of my challenge, it was actually my third straight day of class. And despite the fact that I've taken class with Molly many times and she has a light and funny teaching approach - every inch of me wanted to flee from that room, but I somehow didn't. Every single posture was a fight and my muscles were just in flat out rebellion. I truly don't know how I made it through the class, but the next thing I knew I was saying goodbye to Molly and she said "see you in the morning."

Oh what sweet hell was this? Oh, that's right, since I slept through the morning class and went to the night class it meant my next class was a mere 14 hours away. I got home and drank as much water as I could possibly stomach before going to bed, hoping it would be enough to rehydrate me before the next class. Which brings us to...

Day 3: Saturday 03/15

Time: 10am/Instructor: Kaitlin 

I have never taken a Bikram class in the morning before - this is somewhat surprising since I usually prefer to work out in the AM. It was also the first time I was taking class with Kaitlin (more on that later) and the first time I had taken a class that started immediately after another one had let out and OMG did that make a difference. As I entered the room it was humid and sticky and the heat was almost insufferable at first. Usually when I take the PM classes, the room has had a chance to air out for several hours, but this was like the entering the seventh level of hell. How was I ever going to get through this?

And then I realized there was a woman laid out in front of me who had just finished class...and was about to do another right after. That is three straight hours of Bikram. That is insane. Well apparently not insane, it's known as a double and apparently it's not completely uncommon for people to complete them. However, just no. I could barely wrap my head around taking class again after a 14 hour break, but a half hour break? No. No. No. No. No.  (Note: I did feel slightly better after I found out that the woman is actually one of the instructors I had never met before. Slightly.)

Speaking of instructors, I really like Kaitlin a lot. She has a much more direct "teaching" style rather than just "guiding" and she doesn't let anyone get away with anything. Your knee is slightly bent and your kicking out during standing-head-to-knee? Nope, she's calling you out. Your looking at the mirror instead up during bow (guilty as charged)...again she's letting you know. However, she still manages to come off approachable, friendly, and 100% on your side. She's also realistic - when she noticed many of us dropping like flies (see the insufferable heat above) - she opened the doors several times to regulate the room temperature and make sure we were practicing in a safe environment. 

The class overall was so-so. I was not nearly as tired as I was the previous night and I'm making serious progress on my standing bow pulling pose and fixed firm, but I took more breaks than I probably needed - helllooooo mental game - and my shoulders were absolutely on fire during the second half of the standing series. 

Overall, it was not my best class, but I didn't feel like I was fighting through every last pose! 

Bikram 30 Day Challenge - Day 1.5: No Turning Back Now

So since I technically blogged before class, today I owe another post with a recap. The first recap is sort of long because it was an extra special class, but I don't foresee all of them being so in depth. Stick with me, I promise. So without further ado...

Class #1

Time: 4:30pm/Instructor: Regina

I was excited that Regina was teaching this afternoon because she taught the first Bikram class I ever took and she has a stern, but enthusiastic style that resonates well with me. Since I was bored (and really because I can find any excuse to shop) I stopped at K-Mart (don't judge, it's literally a block from my house) to get some cute new clothes for yoga. Because - let's be honest - if I'm going to go through with this crazy idea, I deserve some cute clothes to do it in. Sophia Vergara has a line of athletic wear at K-Mart that I actually really like and I discovered my new favorite brand of sports bra, but I digress...

I was ready to label this class the class of distractions. On the way from K-Mart to the yoga studio I got an email from my wedding photographer that our photos were done and I seriously almost turned around and drove immediately home to look at them. I tried to justify it by saying I would come back for the 6:30 class, but deep down I knew that if I went home I wouldn't go back and this whole challenge would be over before it started. So I settled for looking at my photos on my tiny phone screen whilst I sat in the parking lot waiting for the studio to open. (Side note: I'm a creature of habit. I like "my" spot in the studio and I do not like when I am not in "my" spot. My Bikram studio opens 30 minutes before class starts and me, being a little bit anxious, gets there 15-20 minutes before that to ensure I am the first one in the studio and I can claim my space. Yes, I am aware yoga is supposed to help with anxious feelings like this. I'm working on it, okay?)

Unfortunately, once I got in the studio the distractions wouldn't stop. More specifically, my inner blabber would not STFU. Seriously, from the time I entered the studio this is the stream of consciousness that went on in my head:

My mat feels cold, it's probably because I left it in the car last night. Is it okay to leave my yoga mat in the car over night? The cold kind of feels good. It doesn't feel that hot in here today. Duh, that's probably because your mat is cold. Crap! I forgot to shave my legs. I'm blonde maybe no one will notice. Actually it would be weird if someone did notice. If you have the time to notice someone else's leg hair clearly you shouldn't be taking this class because you're a master, you're done. That reminded me of a Jim Gaffigan meme...hooootttt pooooccckkkeeeetsss... WTF? Where did that come from. Shut UP, Jules! Concentrate. Okay relax. Relax, relax...WHAT IS THAT. That is a woman who must be seven months pregnant. She cannot seriously be taking this class. I give up on life if that is true. But she's putting her mat down. My mat's not cold anymore. Of course it's not you idiot it's 105 degrees in here. I know, but the heat doesn't feel that bad today. WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED YET. Wait, pregnant lady is speaking -- she's... no. No that cannot be possible. She's due in TWO WEEKS?! OMG, Jules, stop staring at the pregnant lady. Ok focus, focus, I'm never going to focus because I cannot shut up. Oh not shutting up, that would be a good blog post. Wait, are you seriously writing your blog while in class...?

Yeah. This nonsense continued all the way through Pranayama breathing. For the record - this is why yoga and I haven't gotten along in the past. I've never been able to shut up my inner blabber in any hatha or vinyasa class I've taken before. It's never been an issue in Bikram before - you know because I mostly am focused on breathing and not dying - but still. Seriously. Tonight. First night of my challenge. Of course. And then as we moved in half moon pose, my instructor looked right at me and said "get out of your head." OMG HOW DID SHE KNOW?! Anyway, somehow I got snapped back into reality and was able to drown out myself and focus on not falling on my face.

And then before I knew it we were moving into tadasana (tree pose). Wait, what? No. That's not possible. I have never made it through the standing series before without having to take a break. The last thing I remember doing is eagle. Did I miss something? Did I momentarily float out of my body? For the longest time, tulandandasana (balancing stick) has been my Achilles heel. Before this class, as soon as I would move into that pose, my heart rate would sky rocket and my syncope symptoms would trigger (blacked out vision/hearing under water). I would have to immediately lay down. However, today, for whatever reason I made it through. All the way through the standing series. (For the record I actually asked my instructor after class if I really did this. Just to double check that I really didn't black out or something - I think she thinks I need to relax.) While this may not seem like huge deal, it was a major breakthrough in my practice. As I layed down into savasana I was in such a state of bliss I couldn't stop smiling. Like an idiot. Thank goodness you couldn't see me in the mirror.

I rode this high through several more postures. Still didn't need a break. At this point I actually realized I may make it through the entire class without a break. I've never made it through standing series without a break, let alone a whole class. And then as we finished up adha-kurmasana/ half-tortise pose (I'm not trying to be pretentious, I swear. I'm just still trying to learn the "real" names myself) I knew what was coming. If balancing stick was my Achilles heel, ustrasana (camel pose) is my flat out nemesis. I hate it. With the burning passion of a thousand suns. It makes me feel like puking. Every. Single. Time. This was it. I was going to lose it during this pose and lay down. Except I didn't. I did fall out of it... twice. But I got back in twice. And it was at the moment I knew I was going to make it the rest of the way. And I did. And it felt perfect. 

My Bikram 30 Day Challenge: Day 1 - What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

To say I haven't been taking care of myself recently would be the largest understatement of the century. Between finishing my last year of graduate school, completing a full time internship, finishing my Master's thesis, and somehow also getting married time has not been on my side. And in the tradition of "something's gotta give" that something has, recently, been my health. Whether it be eating easily accessible crap, not sleeping enough (or sleeping too much...), or not working out at all it's been a maelstrom of unhealthiness. So, when one of my oldest friends, my sister, and I decided to run a triathlon together this upcoming summer  I knew my body was in no way prepared to handle the training that would start come May. I knew something had to change -- and fast.

What does any of this have to do with a 30-day Bikram Challenge? 

Around the same time I realized I had to get my butt in gear, Lent was fast approaching and I was trying to decide what to give up this year for my Lenten sacrifice and (with some prayer) everything sort of clicked. You see, in my line of work I encounter so many wonderful clients who would give anything to do simple things we take for granted -- like walking. So this year, instead of sacrificing coffee, chocolate, or some other random vice in order to honor God, I decided to give up taking my body for granted. Instead, I was going to add in healthy habits for the entire 40 days. I wasn't 100% sure HOW I was going to accomplish this, it was still too cold to run outside, my bike was still broken, and I had given up my gym membership, so one day a few weeks before Lent officially started I wandered into a Bikram yoga studio. I was hooked. Instantly. And I knew this would be it.

I had been doing well - managing to get to the studio every other day and not shoveling crap into my body. And then last night I had (another) epiphany. A friend and I were discussing some mutual acquaintances in our lives who had recently posted a pictures of themselves on Facebook rocking a brand new bikinis. I jokingly made a comment that I was about to go kill myself in Bikram for 90 minutes to look never look like her. My friend's response stopped me in my tracks. She said to me: "Don't look like them. That's all they have. Look like Jules." It was such a simple statement, but it cleared my whole outlook. I went into class last night -which happened to be the last day of my prepaid classes- enlightened and decided that I wanted to commit to a 30-day challenge; not to look like anyone else, but to look like me and thank God for blessing me with my health. 

So I'm starting today. At 4:30pm to be exact. And my challenge will wrap up on Good Friday. I know what to expect from a Bikram class by now, but I have no idea what to expect from practicing for 30 straight days. I've been scouring the web and reading every similar blog of people who have done challenges themselves - for tips, suggestions warnings, but what I've found is the same message over and over again. Expect the unexpected. 

Holding Myself Accountable (Please help!)

For those of you who don't know - Bikram yoga is a series of 2 breathing exercises and 26 postures practiced for 90 minutes in a room heated to 105 degrees at 40% humidity... and now for 30 straight days. That's a lot of numbers. A lot of scary numbers. So I am planning on blogging my experience everyday because 1) I've always been better at sorting through and expressing my feelings through writing and 2) because I hope it will hold me accountable - or that you, whoever you are, will hold me accountable when my persistence starts to waver. So, it's time to grab some water and dive in.